Predictable
by whats-wrong-eren
Summary: Hikaru and Kaoru tell Tamaki that what he does is too predictable. Well, Tamaki doesn't think he's predictable! (Twincest and a crack pairing that doesn't matter)


**A/N: This is based on a skit from Anime Boston's Masquerade of 2010! I thought it was the most adorable, stupidest thing ever so I have to write it! I'll tweak a few things, but most of it is directly from the skit! The creators get the rights to the idea!**

**WARNING: TWINCEST, IDIOCY, AND I WROTE THIS AT LIKE 11 PM**

* * *

"No, no, no! I know you're just trying to rile me up!" Tamaki exclaimed as he walked away from the two twins animatedly. The twins merely chuckled and followed him. Of course they were trying to rile him! What else would they do? Hikaru popped up in front of him, blocking his way while Kaoru stayed behind him.

"We're just saying, Boss," Hikaru started, putting a sympathetic hand on his shoulder.

"You do the same thing every day!" Kaoru ended, also placing his hand on his other shoulder. "Soon enough, the ladies are gonna get sick of the same old thing and go to more interesting hosts."

"Like us!" They said in sync. Tamaki frowned and slapped their hands off of him.

"I do _not _say the same things! I come up with new compliments all the time!" Tamaki defended, crossing his arms over his chest. Hikaru and Kaoru shrugged their shoulders and closed their eyes nonchalantly.

"We're not saying you _only_ say the same things, you're just a predictable person in general." Hikaru smirked, cracking one eye open to watch their King's reaction. Immediately, tears began flowing down his face in rivers.

"Haruhi-" Tamaki whined, but he was cut off immediately.

"-Hikaru and Kaoru are making fun of me! Make your evil brothers behave!" Kaoru finished in a mocking voice. Haruhi sighed from the opposite side of the room.

"See, Boss? We know exactly what you're gonna say-"

"And when you're gonna say it." Hikaru and Kaoru shot each other evil grins. Tamaki stumbled over his words for a few seconds after that, looking between the two angrily. Steam seemed to be shooting out of his ears.

"Y-Yeah, well, your 'forbidden love' thing gets old! That means you're predictable too!" Tamaki retorted, smiling smugly. He was very proud of himself for coming up with a valid response. Kaoru laughed and walked around Tamaki to get to Hikaru.

"Oh please, we come up with new things every day-" Kaoru started as Hikaru caught his chin in his fingers and brought their faces close together.

"And we test them every night." Hikaru purred, gazing lovingly into his twin's eyes. Suddenly, an arm was jammed in between them and they were shoved away from each other. They laughed as they regained their balance and watched as Tamaki fumed.

"Enough with the 'Twincest'!" Tamaki exclaimed, throwing his arms out. Hikaru smirked again and leaned closer to Tamaki. Tamaki narrowed his eyes. He wasn't predictable!

"Just admit it, Boss! You're predictable." Hikaru said grinning triumphantly. Tamaki's face scrunched up with annoyance for a moment before he smirked slyly. Hikaru was now slightly scared. Boss never smirked. Only Hikaru and Kaoru smirked! Sometimes Kyoya too, but that meant hell for everyone. Before he could even react, Hikaru had been dipped down and had Tamaki's lips pressed to his own. He flailed his arms, desperately trying to get away from his apparently gay boss. Finally, Tamaki released his now bruised lips and stood him back up. Hikaru merely blinked in complete and utter confusion.

"Predict _that!_" Tamaki yelled, shoving a finger in his face. Hikaru just blinked again, eye twitching. The cheerful blond scampered over to his 'beloved daughter'. Hikaru brought his hand to his lips, protecting himself from further assault. Kaoru, being the caring brother he was, was trying (and failing) to stifle his laughter. "Look Haruhi, I just proved I can be spontaneous!"

"No, Senpai," Haruhi sighed, collecting her books in her arms and walking towards the door. She glanced back over her shoulder and said, "You just proved you're gay."

"What!? No, Haruhi!" He yelled, chasing after her and out the door. The door slammed closed after the two and Tamaki's desperate yells of heterosexual phrases ("No homo, Haruhi! I said no homo after!" "No you didn't, Senpai.") could be heard faintly.

Hikaru had finally come back to his senses. He viciously scrubbed at his lips before giving up and running to Kaoru. The taste of strong tooth paste and peanut butter were permeating throughout his mouth and lingering on his lips from Tamaki's attack.

"Help me Kaoru!" Hikaru pleaded, grabbing him by the shoulders desperately and digging his fingers into his blazer.

"What is it Hikaru?" Kaoru asked, tilting his head to the side, having finally stopped giggling.

"You need to help me get the taste of Boss out of my mouth, _now_!" He exclaimed before slamming his lips against Kaoru's.

He shoved his tongue into Kaoru's mouth and explored every single inch of space. Kaoru squeaked in surprise and leaned back slightly, but Hikaru followed. They were both pressed tightly together, tongues in the wrong mouths, lips red, sore and bitten when Tamaki burst back in with the rest of the Host Club following after him. It _was_ club hours now.

"Ha! I knew you were gonna- AH!" Tamaki shrieked as he took in the twins passionately making out. "No, okay, I did not expect that!"

The brothers screamed in unison and jumped away from each other, faces burning with blushes. No one was supposed to know that it wasn't actually an act! They both looked at each other and gulped.

"Shit."

* * *

**I am so sorry**


End file.
